fatherhood: March 2009 Archives

The Bug's school had a field trip today to Centennial Farms (at the Orange County Fair Grounds), ~ a mile from here. They have animals & farm stuff. We've been there dozens of times.

When I pulled up this morning however, a bunch of news trucks were parked outside the gate (Channel 4, 7 & 9, plus several others) with their tall, telescoping antennas. And there were folks stopping & checking everybody entering.

"What's going on?" I asked. "Why the news trucks?"

"The President's coming," said the lady who stopped my car.

"Obama?" I asked.

Been having ultra-realistic dreams about our new Prez (where I'm hanging out with him), and had one just last night .. so it felt kinda weird that he was coming to the same place I was going. (Haven't been there in a year.) Coincidental. Might share these dreams another time. So far tho, I've only told the Dog.

Anyway, after we parked, as we were entering the park area, here came 6 Secret Services dudes (actually 5 guys and 1 girl), walking out, crossed right in front of us (touchable distance), walking 2-by-2. Very sharply dressed. The real Men-in-Black. Here in the laid-back OC, they stood out .. (waay out).

They didn't say anything to me, but greeted the Bug warmly. I heard SS carries Uzi's, so I was looking for the bulge, but couldn't detect anything. [ No, I didn't say, "Hey, can I see your Uzi's?" ]

None of them were very big. I kinda expect people protecting the president to be 6-4, 250 lbs. In fact, they all looked kinda scrawny, if ya ask me. I mean, they certainly didn't look scary. If I didn't know better, I might've thought I could take all 6 of 'em. =)

Whenever I return the Bug, after having him a few days, it can be emotionally disorienting. I mean, for days he's my focus, my whole life. Then suddenly .. nothing. It's like part of me is ripped away.

There's a scene in Ice Age the Meltdown where Manny the Mammoth gets hit by an exploding geyser.

When the smoke clears, Diego the Sabertooth Tiger is standing in front of him, yelling for Manny to get up. But Manny hears only a distant echo. In his dazed state, everything looks pleasantly dreamy.

That's a decent representation of how I feel, sometimes. Shell-shocked. Numb. Like somebody tossed a flash-bang into my life.

It goes away. Always does. Usually after a few hours. So I know it's no big deal. But initially, it can be difficult to cope. There have been a few times when I've been driving, and forgotten where I was going, and had to turn around and head back home. (That sux.) Most of the time however, I just stare off into space.

Used to think there was something wrong with me .. until I heard other dads describe similar experiences.

Best to be alone during these times, cuz most people can't relate (understandably). Some even take the distance personally. A walk in nature is usually the best therapy.

It's not always this way. (Maybe every third or fourth week.) But I haven't been able to figure out the variables that accompany the disorienting times. They seem to follow no particular rhyme or reason. So I haven't been able to stop it.

Tho I suspect the more the separation bothers the Bug, the more it affects me. So I try to make the transition painless as possible.