fatherhood: October 2008 Archives

While washing dishes yesterday, could've sworn I heard the Bug calling me. Very weird (considering he wasn't here).

Sounded so real that I turned off the faucet and walked outside. Even peeked around the corner. Nothing. Nobody. Am I starting to hear voices? (Or did he really call?)

Used to have a boss who dismissed rumors that couldn't possibly be true by saying, "People hear what they wanna hear."

Fireworks CS4Photoshop vs Fireworks

In other news, I've been learning Photoshop, little by little, tho it's taking longer than expected. (Doesn't everything?)

I wouldn't say it's difficult, but there are so many tools, commands and features .. stacked one on top of the other.

Friend suggested my time would be better spent learning Fireworks. I always thought Fireworks was the Macromedia version of Photoshop. (But it ain't.)

While Photoshop specializes in Print graphics (and photo-editing), Fireworks specializes in web graphics (which is what I do).

Flying TreeI try to avoid letting much time pass without updating the home page. (Makes the site look neglected.) But I can't seem to post an entry without first 'feeling' it.

Lagging on Updates

In other words, I can't write something just for the sake of writing. (Feels phony.)

Unfortunately I haven't felt much of anything recently. Probably due to (I suspect) defense mechanisms, which protect us from "thoughts or feelings too terrible to tolerate."

Confronting the Uncomfortable

Rather than avoiding uncomfortable thoughts or feelings, I endeavor (as best possible) to orientate myself toward them (confronting them) .. uncomfortable as that might be. I feel this is the best (and fastest) way to move on.

My experience recently has been ยป periods of crushing pain, interspersed with periods of feeling .. nothing. While pain always suks, I know that feeling nothing is worse. (Numbness is a bad sign.)

As time passes, the painful periods become less frequent and less severe .. until (like now, for example) I'm finally back up to zero. (My head is finally back above water.)

The Dog said, "I was worried about you for a while, but you sound sound better." I'm cracking jokes again, and even making people laugh. (Good sign.)

In dealing with adversity, I've noticed two extremes. (A ditch on both sides of the road.) On one side, some hold on to pains from their past, choosing to relive them over and over (for years it seems). While others deny any past hurts at all, despite their apparent influence in their present life. Both approaches seem dysfunctional.

If someone ignores the stench emanating from their closet door, they're unlikely to clean out the manure piled inside. Same could be said for the person who periodically enjoys playing with it. Speaking of dysfunction ..

About this Archive

This page is a archive of entries in the fatherhood category from October 2008.

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