Thumbs up. (Which means the Bug doesn't lose his dad.) Portions of yesterday's entry were presented in court today. I must assume anything I write here will appear before a judge, and be used against me. (It's not the first time this has happened.)
I like the way the judge focused on the "best interests of the child." I can deal with any ugliness they might direct toward me, long as I feel the court has the Bug's interests at heart.
Still exhausting, tho .. cuz this stuff (which deals with parenting) taps into one of our most basic instincts, which is a powerful motivator.
Maybe you've heard the stories of ladies lifting busses off their kids. It's not easy to handle when extremely important decisions are taken away and put in the hands of another.
Friends have said, "I don't know how you do it. I would've given up long ago."
To which I reply, "It's not a conscious decision. Rather, it's something that seems to be hard-wired inside. So it's not like I have a choice. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do whatever it took. And I'll keep at it for however long it takes. Or die trying."
••• today's entry continues here below •••
It's not like I haven't had countless opportunities to give up. Nor is it like this stuff hasn't been taking a toll on me. (Been at this for years.) Tho, if someone were to spend an afternoon with the Bug, and see how cool he is, they might understand. (Cuz he's *that* cool.)
People who are willing to walk away from their kids .. while they still have breath in their lungs .. I can't understand that. I don't want to be judgmental, but (as for me) that is something I could never do .. even if I wanted.
For more along these lines, here's a Google search preconfigured for the query » family law child custody battle disputes
