Last week I noticed the engine sagging slighty. Took me a few days to figure out why. A part called the motor mount bracket had broken ($450, just for the part).

My buddy, Big Al, stopped over this morning to take a look. He's an ex crew chief for race cars. Builds race cars for a living. He said the bracket would not be easy to replace.

We'd have to do what is called a partial engine-drop. He also said not to drive the car, cuz the dang engine could fall out.

So I placed an ad on Craig's List. Within the hour, phone rang. Guy named Alex asked how much I thought the car was worth. I really had no idea, given the condition of the car (undriveable).

But I threw out a number I'd be happy with. Alex said, "If you're willing to sell for that, I'll come over right now and buy it sight unseen."

Well, he did. Him and his buddy. Car left a few hours ago on a flatbed. It all went so very fast. (Made me dizzy.) One minute Big Al was ready to fix the car for me; the next (it seems), it was gone.

But drinking coffee (espresso) isn't very appealing when it's so dang hot. (Heat wave here.) Thank God for global warming.

I was working earlier on the new Guide to Virtual Private Servers, yawning, with the intellectual drive of a mad cow.

The coffee demon was jumping up-n-down on my shoulder .. reminding me how blissful I would feel after downing a triple-shot, and how much mental energy it would give me. (It would.)

But the temperate angel was perched on the other side, reminding me I'd have to tell everybody (here) what a big, fat failure I was. (Again.)

So I made it another day. (Barely.) And the previous entry here gave enough pause to help keep me from falling off the wagon. Getting by day-3 is a major accomplishment for me.

Funny how the addict's brain works to get its fix. Today for example, I couldn't locate a book I'd checked out from the library (for the Bug). My first thought » "Must've left it at the coffee shop." (I read stories to him there.)

It's not so much the flavor I like, as the buzz. The amperage. The drive.

I have no qualms with drinking coffee per se. Rather it's the 'addicted' part that bothers me. Drinking coffee cuz we want to is fine. But drinking it because we have to is .. uh, hard to justify.

Actually, I drink espresso (less volume in my stomach). Usually a triple. This time will be different. (Yeah, I know I've said that before, too.) But I really have a good feeling about it.

"Why should this time be any different?" you ask. Cuz now I have a secret weapon. =)

Normally these detox endeavors begin with a 30-day goal, which is quickly revised down to "a week," and end up lasting a few days. (If that.)

Some advise a gradual weaning .. to help minimize headaches. "Weaning is for wimps," I tell them (usually squinting thru a blinding headache).

Been meaning to do this for a while now. (Share this.)

Castaways is a great place to go and think. The park sits up on a bluff (25 acres), overlooking Newport Harbor, and the upper Back Bay. A nice breeze usually blows up there (off the Pacific).

I go there often .. to help clear my head. Photos taken Sunday (20th), shortly before sunset.

Oops, almost forgot the linkage. Here ya go » Castaways Park, Newport Beach. And here's a larger, higher-quality version (100-KB) » Newport Harbor

That's so cool! Thanks to Nigel (Ghost Developer from New Zealand) for holding my hand. Here's the code I used to work this magic (added to .htaccess file):

RewriteEngine on
RewriteRule ^index.rad index2.html

Thus far, this technique has only been applied to the home page (starting with a baby-step). But in the future, I'd like to expand its use .. to 'radify' other key pages.

.. such as adding left-padding to the graphics in the center section, to keep text from butting up against images.

This padding also adds a slight indent (6 pixels) to the yellow tri-blade radiation symbols which begin each post.

Speaking of design .. I got a call from somebody saying they wanted to hire me to redesign their web site. (Cool.) My nuclear training instilled in me the notion that I need to know everything about everything before doing anything professionally.

Which might be true in the nuclear world, but friends say that ain't how the real world works, and that I already know more than enough to do web design professionally.

And I must admit, after reading (studying) those excellent books (» Head First XHTML/CSS, » CSS Mastery & » Dreamweaver: The Missing Manual), I *do* feel comfortable wielding web design mojo.

So if you know somebody who needs web work, I'm available. (And cheap.) I don't know PHP yet, but that's coming. Rad Web Design .. has a nice ring, no?

I've sent this recipe countless times via email. Finally decided to copy-n-paste it into a webpage .. to share with the world. See here » Rad's Nuclear Grade Puttanesca (I'm eating a bowl right now.)

For more along these lines, here's a Google search preconfigured for the query » pasta puttanesca recipe

.. out of the blue, he turns around, looks me in the eye and says (with a big smile and a sparkle in his eyes), "I *like* you, dada.

Totally unexpected. Caught me completely off-guard. I felt disabled for 5 or 6 seconds .. like a fish flopping on the deck. Couldn't even talk.

The inflection in his voice conveyed a genuine enthusiasm. His words went deep, penetrating.

He'd already ate dinner and had his bath. So we were just chillin' .. winding down, spending time being close. (Good snuggler, he is.)

I still don't entirely understand my reaction. Maybe my defenses were down (being late in the day), and that's why his comment had such an unusual effect.

I noticed the forums set the record today for most guests ever online at one time. So maybe that has something to do with it. See » here. [More info here.]

Notice anything different? The old/previous design was based on pre-XHTML standards mark-up .. which I had *converted* to XHTML-valid (using Dreamweaver). But the guts still contained a table-based layout (kludge).

The layout of this page however, is not based on tables (rather » on CSS). My new CSS page (if you're interested) is aqui » radified_xhtml2.css.

Been meaning to start over from scratch and layout this page based on CSS .. ever since I started upgrading my web design skills.

Now that the site is busy enough to require a VPS, I figure we probably oughta have a homepage laid-out with CSS. (Modern.)

So I finally just put my head down and went for it. Spur-of-the-moment decision. More involved than I expected. A million little details required attention .. in order to massage current content (you see here) into the new layout. And once I start a project like this, I don't like to stop until it's done. (Worked 'til 1AM.)

This CSS-based layout will let me tweak the design more easily as my CSS skills (continue to) develop.

I chose that bluish-green color (sidebars) cuz I was searching for a link-color that doesn't distract from reading this normal gray text.

The old light-blue links I was using before were so bright (on a black background) they jumped out .. which I found distracting, since I tend to use copious linkage. (Design should complement content .. not overpower it, right?) But sometimes we don't notice things, until we're looking for them. My design-aim was/is to present a content-focused website.

It's still a work-in-progress (WIP), but I have a good start on it. The research has already been done (which is the time-consuming part). And the site has already been moved/upgraded, so I have first-hand experience (which we prize) to accompany the research. All that remains » documentation.

I like the idea of this guide. Has a certain coolness, no? Much easier for me to put my head down and plow thru a guide when it has cool-factor.

VPS is all about speed, power & control. (Nearly synonymous with Porsche.) Oozes cool .. (in a geeky-kinda way). Guessing I can have it done in 10 pages. But I keep thinking of more things I should include. So maybe 10 won't be enough?

Planning to include everything *I* would've liked to know .. back when I began my research. It will be a cool guide. Ultra-practical. (Radified.)

Speaking of cool .. if you use Firefox (and who doesn't these days?), and you like things dark .. check out this theme, called » NASA Night Launch. Browsing the forums with a NASA-theme'd Firefox is .. heaven (at night). =)

If you don't hear from me for a few days, I'll be working on the VPS guide. (Update - Just added a 3rd page.)

.. there was already plenty of cash in the account. (Woohoo!) How did it get in there?

You might've noticed the small Make a Donation button .. found in the left side-bar (have to scroll down). As you know, I don't solicit donations. But if readers feel inspired, there it is.

Timely Donations

Several generous readers donated amounts ranging from $50 to $100 (less a small percentage Paypal keeps for their trouble). Boy, was I stoked!

Funny how donations always seem to arrive when they're needed most.

As a side note, I find it interesting that most donations (by far) come from » Texans. Why is that? Are they more generous than most? .. or drawn more strongly to the site? I have lived in many states, but Texas isn't one of them. So I can't say for sure.

Priorities & Sacrifice

Speaking of money .. all my life, cash was never a problem. I mean (not to brag), I was earning close to $100K fifteen years ago .. (back when 100K was still 100K). I paid ca$h for a Porsche (the Rad-mobile) .. back in the '80's. Even at age 11, I was delivering newspapers 7 days a week. So I've always had plenty of spending-cash .. for long as I can recall.

But ever since I started going to court a few years ago .. well, that wiped me out. And you can't work nuclear just any ol' place. Reactors aren't found on every street corner, or in every town. (Or even in every state.)

It's much easier to reference (via linkage) a particular event .. such as the upgrade to YaBB v2.2 (which did not go well) .. or the Bug's 3rd birthday (which did) .. when I have a daily entry to link to (instead of monthly).

Back in December & January is when I was researching VPS servers, and didn't have time to convert the daily entries to blog entries...

.. after Lunarpages (you might recall) booted us off the server (end of November), and I was worried they were gonna turn off the lights and pull our plug.

But now we're all caught up. (Took me all day, tho. Tedious maximus.) Only the last 2 days don't have blog entries.

Blog entries are also better for search engines, since each page can indexed individually (with its own title).

If you miss it, you can catch this (and other Frontline specials) online. See here » Watch Frontline Online.

Frontline is my favorite TV show. Besides no commercials (PBS), and a decidedly understated approach, they manage to uncover facts you simply can't find anywhere else (based on more than 400 interviews) ...

.. which helps us become better-informed citizens.

I also like the way they present their findings .. as objectively as possible, focusing more on the facts than trying to sway the audience .. allowing us to draw our own conclusions. And I like their narrator, too » Will Lyman.

I mean, certainly we all aspire to excel at one of life's most important roles .. but until we put hand to task, our preconceptions represent little more than wishful thinking.

A friend told me yesterday, "I always knew you'd be a good dad -- an *excellent* dad -- but you have exceeded even my expectations."

"How did you know?" I interrupted, fishing for more compliments, ".. that I'd be a good dad?" (Cuz I didn't know myself.)

"I just knew," he answered, declining to elaborate.

At the time, I was talking on my cell, walking at the Back Bay. (I have a small, but supportive network of friends I can call to help deal with things.)

The Back Bay is where I usually go after I give the Bug back to his mom, and can't see him for several days. Hiking in nature helps me process the feelings of loss that come from missing him.

There I saw a bobcat .. my first-ever out in the wild. Strikingly beautiful animal. Dark colors. Pointy ears. He did not seem alarmed by crossing paths with a human, passing within 15 feet (5 meters).

A lady following some distance behind said he was one of three offspring born several months ago, and that the mother-bobcat was much lighter in color. I know it sounds corny, but the sighting made the day feel special .. like when I spy dolphins, or a whale.

Sometimes, after I give the Bug back, it feels like my heart is ripped apart .. but this week was different. I felt *good* .. a sense of accomplishment .. satisfied I had done a good job, and content he was happy and developing well.